Arts please and succeed

ART self

Psychologists believe: charisma, that is an art and like to succeed - not an innate gift, acquired quality.Of course, much depends on the character and personality characteristics (such as the opening / closing introversion / extroversion), but if you want to learn how to charm others is not so difficult.It may seem trite, but the decisive role played by self-presentation, that is, the ability to present yourself a winner.It is not only and not so much in how you are dressed and combed (appearance priori to be flawless), and how do you feel.A man without self-confident and curse the whole world, it is unlikely someone will pay attention.People are surprisingly feel our mood and attitude.Therefore, if you want others to you like, please let itself.So before going out (to the party, work, meetings with classmates, ordinary walk) take a close look in the mirror and notice its advantages ("How beautiful my eyes, lips, breasts!", "How can I go this skirt!").Also, tune in to a positive: remember

a funny story, call your favorite friend, drink a cup of coffee with brandy, eat a banana or a piece of dark chocolate ... the only way, in harmony with itself and with its appearance, you will be able to please others and gainthe pleasure of communicating.

Laws of Attraction

However, a little self-confidence.Charisma - is the art of possession of communication, which has its own universal rules.Let's examine the commandments favorites of the audience ...

Be polite! So you not only invoke sympathy from others, but also be able to maintain a sense of self-esteem when faced with rudeness.Parties to the conflict observers are inclined to accept the truth of a person does not meet the rudeness to rudeness.In addition, you must learn to say "magic words", "please", "please", "excuse me."The best way to say "thank you" - to explain what exactly you are grateful.Narrow the reason for his "thank you" a couple of extra words (for example, "Thank you for letting me know in advance ').The hail on for this extended gratitude you get a wide smile and a friendly word.

Keep your distance! can not be too close to the unfamiliar interlocutor, to invade the zone of his psychological space where open access to only the closest people.Psychologists advise not under any circumstances approach the person closer than 50 cm, as an invasion of privacy zone can cause dissatisfaction and even aggression.

Do not hide your eyes! Otherwise people might get the impression that you do not say what you think.Frown, look to the side or by the interlocutor do not have others to communicate.Eye contact shows interest in the meeting.But do not forget that the continuous gaze can lead to confusion.Use effective method spies, allowing to remove the tension caused by the need to constantly look at him: his eyes did not focus on his pupils, and just above the nose.

Smile! With someone who feels happy, it is easier to communicate.It is better to fold relationships with colleagues and family.Smiling great establishes contacts between people.If you rarely smile, practice in front of a mirror, and then use this skill in life.You'd be surprised how much to change the world around you and, most importantly, the attitude of those around you.

Compliment! All people love to be praised (for knowledge, skills, appearance, personal qualities).Notice the first all you like about people and their behavior.Talk about their merits.Receiving a compliment, people unconsciously strives to meet the expectations that generates reciprocal sympathy to you, it takes a psychological protection and secrecy.

not get carried away by self-criticism! should not be bad to characterize itself, not stick labels himself: "I - ugly", "I - fat", "I - lazy."People can not believe it.This does not mean that you have to hide their mistakes.Just talk about them calmly, with a smile, with the knowledge of how to fix the situation.

show sincere interest in others! Give people a sense of their own importance.Sincere interest in the man who next to you.Ask him about family, work, hobbies.Do not interrupt or attempt immediately interested in him, put the whole story of his life with great detail.If a person says when meeting only about himself, surely he will be left alone.Besides the mystery and innuendo always attractive to people than something to unravel and acquainted.

Learn to listen! Do it patiently and with interest.Try to put yourself in the place of the narrator, so you can better understand new acquaintance.Do not interrupt the conversation comments.Your say when your partner wants to know what you think about this issue.A good conversationalist - a great listener.This is an axiom of communication.

Call interlocutor by name! At the meeting, always try to speak in a conversation several times the name of the interlocutor.Most likely, it will treat you with great sympathy and trust, because you attended to his modest person.

to overcome modesty.

Most often prevents us from others like shyness.However, to overcome yourself quite easily, say psychologists, it is only a wish.Here are some homework for insecure people.If you deal with them, you will be much easier to make a new acquaintance.

«Where is Nofelet?» matter how ridiculous it may sound, but first you need to learn how to establish contact with strangers.Think of an object that does not exist (for example, the library Semenov), and ask people about it.This simple exercise will show you that others are willing to help you and not hostile.

«Who will sing." next test - karaoke club.Understand all care how you sing, the main thing is optimism and good mood that you radiate.

«One in the city." Finally, go for a walk alone.But do not dive into his thoughts, and pay attention to the people around them.Smiles at them - and they will tell you the same.Because you're adorable, sweet and causes a desire to smile back.

«Hello my name is ...»

What could be worse than being alone in unfamiliar company ?!What to do?Is leave 15 minutes after the start of the holiday?And here and there.Psychologists recommend to stay and even have fun.Find another alone in the crowd, smile and go to him, looking into his eyes.Introduce yourself and honestly ask for help.Say: "As it happens, but I was alone here, can you tell me about what's happening, and introduced the guests?" And if you stop and smile embarrassed - your new friend will certainly help you stop feeling the outsider in this celebration of life.The main thing - do not be afraid.A couple of tactful questions no you can not eat and do not kill!


Anna Karnauhova psychologist:

virtue differences of characters, attitudes here you certain things, world people can not always find a common language, and quite naturally there is antipathy.Art like and impossible to master to succeed in five minutes.First of all it is necessary to look at ourselves and assess their strengths and weaknesses.If you flare up like a match for any reason, or go in themselves and silent for hours, it is unlikely to produce the desired effect.If you're nice, smiling, polite with others, it is likely that people will respond to you in return.In addition, it is important to be able to listen to the interlocutor, without interrupting or criticizing.No need to also assess the person, especially if we are talking about some negative aspects, it is better to discuss his action, action, but do not be carried away by excessive criticism, taking on the role of the guru, as your life experiences can be fundamentally different from the life experiences of the interlocutor,and your advice to him only harm.In general, we can safely say that if you're friendly and open to the world, then the world will be opened to you.However, be prepared for the fact that in this case you may someone does not like it.Get over it!