Problems are growing like a snowball: the cry of the parents, and not the desire to hear and to comply with requests by the parents of children.But what if the child stopped listening?
And what do we mean by the word "obey"?Besprikoslovno implementation of all child told the parents?Not That, in the child's own opinion?Suppression, any gusts of independence?I think that we want to raise children and honest and decent, and sensitive, and fair, and responsive, so that we were not ashamed of them.But how to implement it and what to do if the child stopped listening ?!This is the methods of education.
What to do when your pipsqueak ceased to listen to you?To begin with, you should ask yourself some questions:
- Why did the child does not listen?
- What child wants to achieve a similar behavior?
- How parents react to the child's disobedience?
- penalize your baby?
- Maybe better to change the type of activity and distract the child from the factor that caused the tantrum and whim?
- Maybe we should just ignor
In answering these questions need to be very honest, first of all to himself.So in answering the first question, it is often so that children begin to act up and do not obey their parents, in order to get their attention, because mothers need and cook, and wash, and go to work, and get out, and more andthe child at this time to himself.Sometimes it happens that children hinder us, ie we put his desires above the desires of the child.So, instead of a child to read a book or play with him, we are much more important to talk to a friend on the phone, sit at the computer, go shopping, watch TV, and the like.
In answering the second question, it is necessary to consider once again in the first place, their behavior: you took care of the child too, and he wants you to have weakened his wing;or on the contrary, he wants you to give him a little more attention;Whether you have offended him with something, such as not to perform some given to him, promised (promised to buy a toy after receiving the salary, but happily forgot about it) and now he simply revenge you for it;maybe the child just wants to assert itself in this way and show independence;
Many psychologists recommend in response to this question use their feelings that you are experiencing at this situation because:
- If you experience irritation, then the child is likely not enough of your attention.
- If you are experiencing anger, then the child is likely to simply opposes your will.
- If you hurt a child, it is likely your child is taking revenge.
- If you are in despair and hopelessness, it is likely your child is experiencing a failure and futility.
How parents react to manifestations of "disobedience"?There are several ways of reaction, the main of which:
- Do not pay attention to such behavior of the child, or simply ignore.
- switch attention of the child, giving him something new, interesting, in other words, to distract.
- punish the child.And the penalty turn, too, are different, and this isolation (standing in a dark room, a corner in the bathroom, or sitting at a certain "punishment chair") and physical punishment (cuffs, spanking, hair pulling, and t. N.)and verbal punishment (threats, name calling, humiliation), and punish deprivation of pleasure and punishment of labor.
Either way, there are nuances of the reaction, and they need to be applied only to the age and individual performance situation.So if the child is breast, neither many of the parents will come to mind to apply to it these types of reactions as ignoring or punishment.Conversely, if the child is an adult, it is unlikely to switch to turn his attention to something else.
more detail I would like to stay at the punishment, because it is one of the most common reactions.I think that there is not a single parent, who at least once raised his voice to her child, or slapped him on the ass, or called it a "lack of talent" and the like.Things to know about the punishment?
1. The child must know what he was punished.
2. Do not be punished in anger.
3. Remember that your actions have to be consistent.
4. Do not punish one offense twice.
5. The punishment should be fair.
6. The punishment should be the individual (not suitable for all children the same punishment as for some quite deprived of their favorite activities and awareness is not the right thing to come, and for others is enough to put them in a corner.)
7. ChildIt should not be seen that you are not sure whether or not, to punish him.
8. The punishment should not humiliate the child, and to help in the awareness is not correct or that action.
9. If it turned out that you punish the child in the heat of passion, and you realize that they were wrong, would be to apologize to the offense, thus you show that you too can make mistakes and admit his mistakes, and learn what your child.
10. After a penalty is not necessary to remind your child about what has happened throughout the remainder of the day.
11. Any punishment of the child must know that he vsyo still love you and you are unhappy with only its act, and not the child.
12. Do not be punishing the child in the presence of his peers and friends.
And finally, I would like to say that parents should be educated together with their own children.And the reason in disobedience own child, worth a look, first of all, in itself, and, finding it, by all means get rid of it once and for all, so as not to lose the most important thing in life- love and understanding of your child.We all know that every person needs to be understood and praised, do not skimp on praise his own child, because he needs it.And remember that your child is the best and most beloved, he must always feel that you love him.