Children // Psychology and development

How to tell a child that he is adopted

is generally accepted that the most preferred alternative to orphanages and children's homes is the family.But in the process of adaptation of the adopted child, there are many difficulties, both for the child and for the new parents.The child, being rejected by family parents received psychological trauma, and subconsciously it is delayed a sense of uselessness and loneliness.In our society, we are still strong prejudices, under which the adoptive parents often have to adapt.Therefore, this issue is quite delicate, which is why it is important to provide assistance and support for both parents and children.

Another important issue that needs to resolve the parents concerns the disclosure of the confidentiality of adoption to the child: whether the child to talk about what it is adopted;if so, when and how to do it.So far, the unit settled to talk openly about adoption, but even they do it with caution, fear of being misunderstood and fear of the reaction of others.

Earlier specialists inclined to bel

ieve that the fact of adoption should remain a secret.Now many of them are of the opinion that it is necessary to say, as in any case, concealing this information, you are lying to your child, and this lies in the chain generates another lie.Also, the information the child can learn from the accident careless relatives or friends.In any case, the solution for the parents.

Parents, hide from the child the fact of its adoption, thus trying, as they seem to protect the child from feelings of rejection, loneliness.But a strong family can only be built on trust and integrity, and availability of all of the secrets of life aggravates.Yes, and it is difficult to recover once already lost confidence.Therefore, we must all tell you how it really is, because thus you simply tell your child about how he appeared in the family.From the way you feel about yourself, the right decision will depend on your child the fact of its adoption.

talk about adoption like all other serious conversations that sooner or later the parents have with their children, so experts advise to give the information dispensed in accordance with the age of the child.We must answer the question and only child, and do not tell him their views.As they get older issues will be difficult, but you will be able to give greater detail necessary for understanding the subject matter information.

When a parent tells a child for adoption in the language he understands, the awareness of the adoption becomes a common fact of his life.Sometimes children have to repeatedly tell the same as they will be able to fully understand it and learn, so do not be surprised or annoyed if about adoption and you have to tell us more than once.This does not mean that you have previously unclear or poorly explained it, the child was simply not yet ready to accept such information.Research has shown that parents are more open to discuss issues related to the adoption, the easier their adopted child.

If parents tell the child about the fact of adoption of open, positive, sensitive, such an approach can help the child overcome the heartache.If you give your child understand that you're always ready to talk to him openly and confidently on the subject of adoption, you have just that much help.In conversation you can make it clear to him that someone abandoned him, and it could be many reasons, and it is not related to him personally, but you wanted a child, and you took him to her, knowing all possible difficulties forto raise and love it.In this view of these events, you will not put him traumatized by opening fact of adoption, but only earn his respect and gratitude.

Psychologists are divided, at what age should tell the child that he was adopted, but most believe that it is better to do it through adolescence.Some psychologists call the age of 8-11 years, the other - 3-4 years.Some experts say that the best age, when there are a series of questions, "Where did I come from?".One of the ways to start a conversation about adoption experts call the story in the form of a fairy tale.Therapy tales - a whole new trend in child psychotherapy.The value of fairy tales is that they make it easy to start a conversation from a third party when the parents are very difficult to gather his thoughts and they do not know where to start.Therefore, stories and fairy tales - a great start for a very important talk about adoption.

all possible articles and papers on the subject give the answer that you need to talk and talk openly and confidentially, but at the same time delicate and age.Every parent feels itself on the behavior of the child, whether he does it.The main thing - the child must feel that no matter what, he is very fond of.Now that you know how to tell a child that he is adopted.

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