Nevertheless, psychologists offer us imagine the family and its members in the form of a pyramid.Anyone who is the most important, is on top of it, around it will be led dances all other households.And not always the head of the family are the parents.Dad, Mom, I - happy family - and that says a lot.
All the best - to children!
All three, four, six pairs of "family" eyes fixed on him from early childhood.When a child sits on the porch of a country house, two grandmothers on stage rushing to him to put a small pillow: cool hemp.When a child draws a circle in the life HICLES family exhales: "Brilliant ...", and dad stole a handshake mother: "Thank you for a son."And so on.As time goes by, the relationship of the family to the little genius does not change, even when it becomes apparent that the special talents of the child does not possess.
- Pros.A child with a childhood protected from all negative great love of his family.That's for sure, that in such a house, and the walls will survive enemy attack
- Cons.Surrounding world deeply indifferent to the love of some unknown relative to some unknown subject.Ambient will not support this love assurances of his genius, if it does not see.If the parents from childhood instilled a daze, he one and only, as an adult it will be difficult to think of themselves as something else.He is confident that the criticism of others - elementary envy.Many people live their entire life with a reserve of self-sufficiency and good live!
Grandma - our helmsman
Sometimes the tip of the pyramid becomes a family representative of the older generation - grandmother.It is the king and god, it will have mercy, and shall condemn it.Her words - the law, no one can not think of disobeying.At children's parties she sits on the birthday rightful place at the head of the table.Zorko looks at friends of his grandson, who is clearly endorses someone as she clearly disliked.She paints the family budget and, sometimes, even provides money for lunch in-law and daughter.They long to each other advice on how to convince Grandma to buy a new computer, the point in which it does not see, and how to build a conversation about selling an old car and buying a new one.Grandmother strict, she does not let "children" on holiday to Turkey, because there is still "our" Black and Azov seas, and nothing better than the old dacha in the Moscow region and can not be.
- Pros.In a family where taxis grandmother always order and full accountability.Grandchildren compliance regime of the day, the money the family intact.Grandmother - a stable and unquestioned authority.
- Cons.Babushkino kingdom is forever.Sooner or later, somebody goes out of its control, because my grandmother is getting older, and children and grandchildren growing up and gaining strength.Young children who have grown up in such a family, formed the wrong idea about the relationship between adults and about "who is the boss."Because they often grow a notorious and depressed adults, or, conversely, the power and the cruel people, respecting "hazing," not only in the army, and in everyday life.
happens that the top of the pyramid is a family place ... vacant.The child, of course, have a mom and dad, but he inhabits the top of invented characters.Like Carlson.Parents at work, their mysterious word "career".Babysitting coming from all sides perfect, but she loves her grandchildren and something she really only him, but here just to make money.And if the parents do not notice, then the child feels the skin and the heart is icy indifference.No heat!And it creates a warm friend, a cheerful companion, companion and mischievous.On the other invented so easy!It sits next to the car when the child taken to the children's camp on vacation, and he bravely standing there when the baby is responsible at the blackboard.On the "other" is not so dreary evenings when parents occasionally call, worried and asked to "wait a little", because they have an important meeting, a distant trip, later meeting."No offense, kid, mom loves you, Daddy loves you."He strongly believes that love him, but the word "love" in the end, becomes cold white, it is so beautiful and so far ... plus.The child very early becomes independent, he understands the that his parents are not the last people on the planet, they know how to make a career and how to manage people.Such children safely depart by plane with strangers uncles and aunts, who were asked to look after the child, they never cry and contempt are crybabies who in the same plane is not allowed mother to the toilet.Minuses.Fantasies to think of another may result in not too fun.Child psychologists know many examples when the child went so deeply into himself that "get" him out necessary medical luminaries.Early maturing - this is fiction.Our age-related changes occur only from past years, but not from a lack of attention for the people close to us - parents.So, this independence - is not nothing but a disappointment in the father and mother, bitterness, resentment and elementary defensive reaction.What parent would be invented in the future author of friends?As cold and distant?Or do not want to have children, remembering that inhospitable and extended time, which is called childhood?
What do you want?
answer to this question is almost impossible.There is no ideal scheme, which would fit into relationships without exception families.Still another option is.Of course, on top of the pyramid should be the parents.Their love is distributed at each other, and then projected onto the children.Children perceive them as a whole.Parents decide all questions are "major."Grandparents are welcome and they can be even closer to the children, but the last word is always Mom and Dad.This submission without violence, without fear of respect, friendship, without servility.And in such a relationship, you will not find minuses.The solid pros.It is a pity that they do not occur too often.