Relations // Psychology

How to help a person change for the better?

Nesozdavayte ideal

Deciding to help a person, remember that you want to help a person change for the better, not the blind from your loved his ideal.Therefore, prezhdechem be a plan of action really look at its capabilities, tastes, preferences and abilities.That is, if a person likes to write music and studied nalandshaftnogo architect, do not invite him to take programmirovaniem.Pomnite that when people come to us for help of this kind, oniiskrenne believe that we know what is best for them, so they will vypolnyatnashitasks and assume that everything is as it should be, even if it does not bring joy imnikakoy.Therefore, if you see that your friend was lost in life and not know, how to achieve something, sit down and analyze with him his desire, ability and opportunity.You must work together to find the most suitable option ipostaratsya translate into reality the plans.There are people who deystvitelnoneobhodim "magic pendyul" by which they begin once menyatsvoyu life, but you must ensure that th

is "pendyul" not prinёscheloveku frustration and craving for self-destruction.Understand that if your friend vsegdabyl punk, but then I realized that it is necessary to grow up, you should not try to make him "office jacket."Your task - to direct its potential right ruslo.Mnogie believe that such people should be completely changed.No, it is not.Suppose, for example, continue to wear the clothes he likes, but you have postavituslovie that all shirts are clean and spotless, all the shoes - and pokrytayakremom washed, and his general appearance will not be proof that he polgodazhil somewherenear the landfill.That is helping to change a person make sure that you have not destroyed his individuality.

Neperegibayte stick

Always remember that your loved one - it sformirovavshayasyaindividualnost their views and needs, and not subject krolik.Poetomu do not start to practice NLP and put on him razlichnyepsihologicheskie experiments, it is not necessaryIt assumes that people izmenitsyaprakticheski one day.This has never happened and never will.Only filmahplohie boys suddenly prevraschayutsyav good.But in real life they need a long time to work on yourself, get rid of bad habits.In addition, if a person accustomed to a modelipovedeniya, he will be very difficult to unlearn from it.So ozhidayteprokolov, breakdowns and so on.Be patient and remember that chelovekdeystvitelno sincerely wants to get better.And most importantly, because onrukovodstvuetsya not your desires, namely his.So when people vashblizky make any mistake, do not gang up on him and obvinyatvo all sins.Although a blind eye is not worth.You must be strict, nospravedlivoy.Explain to the person what he is wrong and take him obeschanietak no longer do.By the way, do not resort to blackmail.You do not dolzhnyzapugivat person as fear never will realize something isdelat conclusions.You have to focus on what he is entitled to do as you want, but if he really wants to get better, so is zadumatsyaprivedёt whether such an act to improve or will cause deterioration.

Another, about what it is worth mentioning - not stavtepered person transcendental purposes.You must understand that no one has ever turned out to homeless millionaire in one day.So your friend too nestanet prestigious, promising, non-drinker, tidy and so on manoveniyuvolshebnoy sticks.To achieve the goal, he will need to get mnozhestvomelkih victories, for which you should always praise him and maintain protsesseih achievements.And even if a person does not achieve all that you are for negopridumaete - do not worry and do not accuse him of weakness and besperspektivnosti.Dazhe if people at least something will achieve will be better and will stop doing stupid things - this is a huge plus, and for you,idlya him.

Budtechastyu life, and do not turn it into their own

To a man strong enough to change, always sincerely supported him.He must see and feel that vyraduetes its victories no less than himself.Remember that you - his mudryysovetnik that helps in life and makes it possible to retrain and poznatnovoe.By the way, you should never try to do something for the person.You dolzhnypodskazat, help, offer, but not to make everything in your own proekt.Poverte, total control and constant guidance will only lead to the fact chtochelovek or abandon its ideas, or become a shadow of your resignation, which absolutely can not make their own decisions.So vsegdasledite to ensure that your life runs parallel to his own, and undrainable one in which you are presiding over all.Each person needs lichnoeprostranstvo.So do not be afraid to leave it without supervision.Even esliv seems that the move is only a step, and he had done some stupid things, still allows a person to make decisions on their own.Understand vashazadacha - to help people learn how to do the right thing and understand their vernyeresheniya and not live by your plan.In fact, an adult runs the exact same system that we use to teach our children.First, we tell how and what to do, and then do the work with them, and then try daёmvozmozhnost themselves.And often the first children make mistakes, and mypopravlyaem them and give an opportunity to perform the task again and again until rebёnoksam not understand and did not learn to do something.Here also you should behave sosvoim other.Please tell him how to do is, prompts help, then give him an opportunity to make a decision.If he makes a mistake -popravte it, but do not try to take control themselves.Over time you will see that he can do everything himself, without your parting words and amendments.

If someone came to you for help roda- this means for you a very dear person whom he trusts, and that samoevazhnoe, authority.Therefore, by agreeing to help, you should understand that bereteza it certain responsibilities and must carry out their work iskrenne.Vy really have to love a person and wish him only the luchshego.Imenno him and not yourself.Of course, we all want to be proud of their friends Salix achievements, but also do not forget that this man always bylvashim friend and now you just need to help him get better, and uncreated a new friend.After all, if this person loses all the qualities zakotorye you loved him, then the result will simply be disappointed.

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