Relations // Psychology

Care lover


Very often, a woman takes care of the men as a total disaster: "It's over, no good no more, I'll never be able to enjoy life and to love someone else."

Falling into depression and apathy, as if the woman carries the current sensation of pain that awaited her tomorrow.And by building the most terrible predictions, sinking deeper and deeper into savoring his sorrow and "doomsday".

guilt complex

Often woman thinks so: "He chose me to chose from a variety of other, so I'm really extraordinary!"There is reason to be proud.

But he left, and then "chose me another, I do not need it, nothing to him means, so that does not appreciate me for that."Caring men are always deals a devastating blow to self-esteem of women.And even quite confident person has attacks samodiskreditatsii:

"I do not say so, something is not done. It can not be that all this is no reason ..." begins the search of his own guilt.And even if there is no fault, something like her always to be found.

hypochondriac nature, with a penchant for "soul-searching" perceived gap with the favorite, as evidence of his complete worthlessness.They find a lot of shortcomings and deficiencies: "I'm too thick (thin)," "I'm not interesting and educated," "I have a terrible character," "I'm too old (plain) ..." and so on.

The logic is simple: "The man next - I'm fine, the man was gone - and" carried away "with my self-esteem."

force of habit

Returning home, you're in splendid isolation warms dinner yesterday and with longing begin to destroy, staring dully at the television screen.Tosca!

you so lacking his usual: "Hello!", "Good night!"His carelessly thrown into a chair clothes, stacks of newspapers and magazines on the table.

That night.How uncomfortable to sleep without his kiss, his regular breathing!You burdens unusual emptiness wide bed ... Going through their clothes, you stumble upon them forgotten shirt, and your heart shrinks from the familiar smell.

not surprising - people get used to each other.In exactly the same way as the interior.Even moving furniture leads first to the fact that we unconsciously encountered the corners and "fall through" in the empty spaces.Or automatically, for old time's sake, try to turn on the TV, which is quite a different angle ...

Fear of loneliness

person with whom you spend a lot of time to spend that mental and physical strength, undoubtedly enriches yourlife experiences.With his departure disappears vast field of activity - not on someone "breaks" evil, certain culinary delicacies to indulge, pamper fashionable things and blame all their own troubles and failures.No one to finally sort things out!

you feel that they have lost something very important.In life, it formed a huge void that is nothing to fill.You lonely, and loneliness is exacerbated by your own ill-founded confidence that this will continue for a long time - maybe a lifetime.

Change of Scenery

you did not pull a walk in solitude where you once roamed together.The company, which decided to meet in pairs, you will not wait.Moreover, it turns out, there are places where you alone appear not quite decent.

Sadly, if you're a "former" associates joint service or study.Needless to say, it is unpleasant to see him every day without a shadow of hope for a return - and even, perhaps, a new passion in society.In addition, it is necessary to explain to colleagues about your changing relationship.Meticulous secretary will be vigilant to expect regular news about your personal life, and, no doubt, by their inquisitive gaze, nothing will pass unnoticed.

no less dramatic looks and the prospect of a job change - in particular, if the choice is limited.

Change own circle of friends and social status - another source of unpleasant experiences.

take a lot of time and effort to cope with the oppressive emptiness and fill it with new experiences, pleasant experiences and friends.

principle of harmony

When he left, the worst thing you can do - try to return it immediately.Nor should we reduce him hysterically scores, choking thirst for vengeance.

According to statistics, the acute pain caused by parting, it takes about 40 days.But its echoes can be confusing for another three months, and sometimes half a year.Everything depends on the circumstances of life that you can - and should!- Establish themselves.

According to an important principle of the harmony of life, there are four main areas in which it is necessary to invest approximately equal to the amount of energy: the body (health), activities (work, self-education), communication (family, love, friendship) and questions the meaning of life.

All this can be represented as a rider who moves (activities) to the final goal (the meaning of life).To reach this goal, he needs a trained horse (body).And if the horse threw him, he will need support (communication).Assessing the balance of energy that you put into these areas, you can adjust it to get closer to the ideal relationship: 25% on every sphere.

Think not too much energy you spend on communication, if the departure of the beloved land of departures from under his feet?After all, you have three vital components of harmony!

Understand the causes

  1. Think what would motivate him to be separated from you.
  2. Talk to him - openly and without charges.If you really want to get a sincere response, avoid the slightest reproach.
  3. Even when he formulated his claim may lie the reasons for the gap quite different.He may accuse you of extravagance and frivolity, suffering really a lack of emotional warmth and your sexual coldness.In order not to expose their feelings, people often do not reveal the true motives.Try to solve them yourself.
  4. Remember when he looked particularly distressed, and try to understand why.Maybe you have it upset about something?
But even so, do not get hung up on "settling" with their own wrong doings.It is likely that for his departure are completely different reasons ...

  1. Perhaps he is afraid of intimacy and dependency.When passion turns into a serious affection, he "takes flight", regardless of whether you do it or the other woman.
  2. Maybe he was never keen on you and just "waited out" next loneliness and did not intend to build a serious relationship.
  3. Admit the fact that you two very different people.You can not meet his needs, and he - yours.However, you will only torment each other, and he knew it before you.
  4. It is possible that he ne rezhivaet serious life crisis.It became necessary to change everything's cool, he had no regrets starts to burn bridges and cut off all ties with his past - including your relationship with him.

come to terms with their situation and try to benefit from it.Imagine how much before you open new opportunities!

coquettish smile to a stranger, and the phrase will cost now without jealousy.You will be able to wear a suit, which he did not like;apply make-up as you want;a haircut, against which he protested;throw underwear in the apartment;aerobics at any time of day or night;hours chatting on the phone with a friend.No one will object to your favorite movies and programs and switched to football hateful.

You are free!You can walk all night and not coming up with excuses;there your heart desires;not to prepare delicacies, move furniture, change the color of the curtains and wallpaper from black to bright canary.

Now you are responsible for everything.Suppose you are alone (temporarily), but with no one and no one connected!Instead of feeling guilt comes absolute certainty that without it you will not be lost.

You are beautiful, independent, confident gait go, the men admiringly look after you, and some of them will surely be your destiny.You are sure to be happy - because really happy couples do not break!