August
12
16:45
Relations // Psychology

The impact of family history on our lives

French therapist Anne Ancelin Schutzenberger start with yourself, analyzing recurring events in its genus (the death of the youngest child).As a result, it has opened a new method of psychotherapy and created a young science - psihogenealogiyu, doctoring the key to unlocking the alarms and failures are often hidden in the past the family.

Family accounting
We all come from childhood.And the most beautiful thing in us, and serious injuries are usually there.Children do not choose neither the parents nor the environment in which growing up.And all kind of cargo, all the "legacy" of mother and father, grandparents, great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers then carry on their shoulders.But there is no family without a problem!Former war, repression, ancestral curses, personal secrets of each - all this heavy burden falls on us, the children.A lot of family history was lost in the centuries, other facts intentionally hidden - and then pulled to the surface of our fears and anxieties, personal disorder
...

take even "family accounts" - a tacit system vzaimoucheta between relatives.Each of us has a moral obligation to his family.The mere fact that the parents have grown, spent their force, puts us in a certain dependence: there is a debt that must be returned.But it turns out an adequate system of family debts to the chain: the parents - us, we - his children, and those - our grandchildren.Nevertheless, many fathers and mothers keep their children with them, encouraging a sense of guilt."I have so many sacrificed for you! .." This leads to a dramatic situation: the daughter is not happy with their family life, because it takes care of the parents;son did not marry to please his mother ... Manipulation!The accounting system in families is extremely difficult.Relatives can secretly demand from you payment of debts of previous generations - and you do not dare to object.At the same time there is a feeling that you are using.But if you understand how "grow legs" can be made invisible line between the present and the past.

life example
Varya and Lena - second cousin.Varya lives in the capital, and Lena - in a small town.His son, she sent to study in Moscow and satisfied to live Vare.Although one and a large apartment, but it is inconvenient that the house was a grown man: Varya two daughters, but she could not protest.Working with a psychologist brings to light an important detail: during the war, my grandmother lived in the family Vary your sister in law - and only survived because of this.This in-law just had a grandmother Lena.So Lena's family reigns firm belief that the Varin family they "must".

Skeletons in the closet
They have each family.Facts, which prefer to remain silent: illegitimate children and prison past, repression and committed suicide ... "The dead are invisible, but they are not absent," - these words of St. Augustine is very true in this case.

Mystery kind fatefully affect our lives!It can determine the range of activities, hobbies, while remaining a mystery to us.We like something inside makes it choose this profession, that this man (in fact we wish for ourselves the other!).How is this happening?Experts in the field suggest that the exclusion information is transmitted on an unconscious level, from the mother to the baby.And the man lives like a crypt, which entered into a "ghost."He feels that his life is not living, but can not understand what the root of the problem.

life example
We Galina - constant feeling of anxiety for children.Slight problems cause lightheadedness.The woman realizes the folly of such a relationship, but can not do anything.Suddenly, she finds out that her mother had a younger brother, who died in six years of childhood diseases.And my grandmother, and my mother is a tragedy.It becomes clear, where there is incredible anxiety.

Syndrome anniversary
If you portray your genosotsiogrammu - complete a family tree with the names of important events and dates (not just birth and death, and marriage, admission to the university, the birth of children, illness, accident), you will find a lotamazing coincidence.For example, it may be that all significant events in the sad old tied to any time of the year (before Easter, after Christmas), or a specific number of, say, 12. Or, it turns out that the son and his father, and his grandfather livesproceeds in a similar scenario: first marriage after graduation - the birth of her daughter - Divorce - Second Marriage ... These matches are called "anniversary syndrome".They are explained by genetic memory, an unconscious desire to tie their lives to the biography of a relative who is an authority.The unconscious is so strong that sometimes people simply feel that their "invisible force pulls" on that day to make any particular act.

anniversary of the syndrome can manifest itself in the joyous event: the birth of children, receiving awards, thesis defense.But these things we usually take for granted, Behold, I take the example of the daddy!When a person falls in like a wheel that turns against his will, he, of course, trying to figure out how to stop it.And reconstruction of the past gives the family a chance to succeed.

same manner apparently act on the family and the "curse generic."The effect of the strong words spoken at the peak of emotion authoritarian figure (head of the family), leads to a repetition of the sad events because unconsciously it pushes people into certain actions.Man "should" realize the curse - and he does it, even against their will!

life example
Tanya afraid date October 7.In the 15 years that day, she was injured in training, because of what is no longer able to do gymnastics.On that date he was appointed a divorce from her husband.October 7 Tanya got in an accident.After compiling genosotsiogrammy it turns out that on 7 October Tanya grandmother died, which it resembles."If you believe in what you are wearing a hat backwards to help win the lottery, so be it.Conversely, in the expectation of failure "fateful day" provokes it ", - explained psychologist Tanya vulnerability is October 7.

hunt for secrets
Try and make your genosotsiogrammu.To do this, you can learn the secrets behind the scenes transmitted from generation to generation, to clarify their actions and, most importantly, change lives.After the identification of relationships and their "decoding" enables you to control them!Can you build a project of his own life as they wish, rather than at the behest of long-gone relatives.

Where to start?With stories of mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers.Record their testimonies and then analyzed.Of course, ideally reconstruct the past to the seventh-ninth knee, but this task is often daunting.In clarifying the circumstances of his life to help the family any details: the evidence of friends and neighbors, meetings and conversations with distant relatives, notarial archives, church books, trips to the land of their ancestors.Secret meaning may lurk in all the details: note on, captions under photos.Draw family tree and make all the important events, and is then compared with the present, with the problems that come up to you and your children.Believe me, the solution is close!

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