Relations // Sex

Why do we find it difficult to talk about sex with each other?

likely because during the day we spend some negotiations have time to talk over lunch with a friend who you privacy at all - did not let go the phone by solving various issues shaft.Not surprisingly, in the evening, once in bed, we do not have neither the strength nor the words to talk about the personal.Such an explanation would fit perfectly if not for one "but": even when we rested, still do not find the words appropriate to discuss the intimate life.So what words need to talk about sex?

theory of three styles
probably tried in vain genius Lomonosov, when he created his theory and invented what set of linguistic resources better suited to a particular situation.Despite the fact that its contribution to the development of literary language is invaluable benefit of speech he did not bring.Well, there are no funds in the great and mighty, thanks to which we could easily discuss problems of an intimate nature.

However, experts in the field of psychotherapy believe that folk unconsciously invent
ed his "three calm," thanks to which the very least we are trying to each other to voice their desires.We have to use any medical terms or vocabulary Yard, which is pretty rough.Not quite worthy alternative to these options - the so-called language of women's novels.It is ridiculous to imagine: that's two of you, evening, dim lights, romantic atmosphere.And then he says, "Honey, I am concerned that our sexual acts become less passionate and more rare."And you say, "Yes, my cave for some reason do not want to take your rod jade."Attempts at least somehow mitigate the clumsiness of speech, as a rule, lead to the same result: you begin to lisp, and this manner of communication, quite frankly, do not even like all babies, not to mention the adult humans.

Why not ?
Not only is difficult for us to find the right words, there are other factors that are, in principle, interfere with talking about sex.Modern society sends mixed signals: on TV and on the Internet show a lot of erotic scenes, it's fairly difficult to find a movie or TV series, the characters of which have discussed the intimate lives openly with each other.The directors and producers would like us to translate the message: you can do, can not speak.

really taboo topic of sex, even if we manage to find the right words, we hardly dare to say them out loud.In the West, this issue attracted public attention: the emergence of "Vagina Monologues" is not accidental.We continue to remain silent and true to the tradition.

Those lucky ones who do not care about public opinion, experiencing a different kind of problem.So, one of the main reason why the pair to engage in dialogue about sexual life - stop in the development of relations.Some love at first are wary of words for fear of offending each other.As the convergence of fear usually goes, but sometimes couples are stuck at this stage.And sometimes become indifferent not only to sexual matters, but also to the emotional life of each other.Over time, such a union at risk of becoming formal.

talk about sex and interfere with perfectionism.This disease heroes of our time affect the self-esteem, peace of mind, and now jeopardizes the happiness in his personal life.People are afraid that being himself, they would not be so interesting partner.For example, men are afraid that does not always want to and, therefore, can.And developing at a syndrome of anxious expectation of sexual failure.Women have also reduced interest in sex, and eventually may even develop an aversion.So far we have such prospects do not want to leave the monastery immediately ask the experts: what do you do?

Personal dictionary
difficult dialogue is much easier to do with an emotionally close person.So the first thing to do sexologists recommend - learn to open to each other.Lovers can get closer, telling the second half, not only about how the day went, but if they share secrets.Fit even the mysteries of childhood.With increasing confidence voltage pair, in most cases decreases.

Only after trust is achieved, you can create your own personal sexual vocabulary.That's because none of the funds offered by our language is not appropriate to discuss the intimate life of each couple must through trial and error to find the right words.Mastering the language of love - a creative challenge.It is important not only to create their own definitions, but to fill them with meaning and emotion, understandable only to the two of you.On the one hand - it's interesting, on the other - it is difficult to implement, because there is no ready-proven algorithms.But even if you still are not afraid.As in any small group automatically generates some slang, and your time will pair with their sexual "memes".The main thing - not to avoid problems, do not soak it just because it's hard to find words.And if possible, take sex talk as easily as possible.After all, only craftsmen seriously engaged in the business - they have a ready mechanism for the pattern that they follow.We also need to be as open as possible, understanding, gentle towards the loved one, to gradually learn how to talk about sex, and then begin to understand each other at a glance.By the way, as is usually the case, scientists from the University of Missouri found: married people are without words to communicate their desires and intentions of each other.

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