Children // Psychology and development

Education without violence

- to raise a decent man in the brutal and sometimes unfair world.Everyone is trying to do it in their own way: some resolve all issues scream, others remain calm, but at the same time depriving the child of freedom, and others prefer to save your nerves and simply move away from the child.Fourth do not want to deal with the shortcomings of their children and instead teach them to the daily cleaning of your room, gritting his teeth, do suggest there is order.But all these ways of interacting with their children is absolutely wrong.
The main thing you have to realize that the authority of the child you deserve only if you remain calm in any situation.This does not mean that you should be indifferent to everything.Just make it clear to the child that you give advice, but in any case will not go into the soul - thus you will give him the freedom to choose and get the opportunity to be heard.Your enemy - not a child, and your own unruly emotions.

7 ways to stay calm

If your child is in any situation, is

able to easily put you out of yourself, it can hardly be called normal.The most important thing to understand - only blame you, not your children.Here are some tips:

1. Understand that irritates you

Everyone knows about what words we hurt the most.But best of all children know about it.They see our weaknesses.So take a deep breath and close your mouth on the lock when you hear, for example: "I hate you!", "Backward", "Your work is more important than I am!" - And especially the phrase, which is battling the spot: "It would be betterI had another mother! »

2. Do not go to the territory of the Child

Every child has its space in the house.Single room - a way to develop your child's personality.Do not be a tyrant and constantly digging through his things, remind of cleaning and blame for the mess.Finally, one morning he wakes up and he realizes that it's time to look into your room.And every time you want to remind your child about cleaning, for starters go and put things in order in their own room.

3. Do not ask general questions

unlikely that he will answer you honestly.And if the answer may seem superficial, you will begin to resent that eventually develop into another scandal.The fact that it is very difficult to answer the questions: "How are you?" Or "How are you feeling?" Most of us the answer is "normal" is not satisfied, because it basically means nothing - it's like that quiet.Therefore, if you want to know about the child, be more specific and try to stay abreast of its affairs.He's no stranger to you.

4. Let your child does not agree with you

It's pretty difficult.But freedom of judgment will establish mutual respect between you and your child.Listen to children's statements and in any case not condemn this view.Just try to explain "what is good and what is bad," stressing that it is not trying to impose anything.

5. Respect his choice

a certain age, the child has the right to spend their free time as he wants.For example, instead of a trip to visit your friend, he wants to go with friends to the rink - so let him do it.Society of Friends of much nicer than the talk of the adults.Pocket money - too important question.Let's take as much as you can, teach him to save.Remember, if you talk like that to a child to spend pocket money, he will never learn to manage them.

6. Try not to drill through the eyes of a child

If during the conversation you are literally reading the logs him in the eye, for example, to understand the lies or not, the child will automatically start to worry, even if his conscience is clear.No need to try to see through their child should understand it and not to scare away.

7. Do not accept

Biennial takes the kid kitchen knife immediately after the mother forbade it.The teenager says his mother, "You are the most awesome mom in the world.Because I can not do what everyone else can. "Your kids are trying to take you for a living, but you will know that the fight will not start until you do not want to participate.Instead of accepting the call, take a timeout.Calmly close your eyes and go off to his room.Time will help you cool down, distracted.And your child will understand that a number of you will not pass.

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