Children // Adolescents

What it means to be a good mother?

We are not perfect - it must be admitted.But is it really so bad?Why many supermom - is a deity, which has superpowers and abilities.But all mothers - ordinary women.Why do some children grow up smart, caring and independent, while others - spineless scored and cruel?In fact, the key role played by the natural inclinations of the child.The nature of 80% is given to us at birth, and only 20% of it, we are able to correct through education, special approach and their own efforts.And even then, one can not always do it.Sometimes the nature of what is called, takes its toll.Such cases - thousands.The mother becomes exhausted, she gives herself a child, forgetting about himself, and he grows up and becomes a criminal, a drug addict or just becomes an inveterate drunkard in the gutter.So should there be such a perfect mother?Here are some tips that will help you perceive yourself correctly understand themselves better and to enjoy their maternity selflessly and easily.

1. you - a living person, and sometime

s make mistakes.

for anything you yell at the child.You are in a panic, do not know what to do and are afraid that the child will not forgive you.Are you ready to reproach ourselves in this infinite - it seems that you're the worst mother in the world.But you have to take one thing - you're just a man.With its problems, internal failures and surges.And your child, believe me, it understands.He needs his mother alive, not a soulless robot always smiling.Do not be a robot!Yes, take it out on the child - it's bad.But if you sincerely repent of it - just let him understand.Not sypte ashes, do not apologize to distraction - just explain to your child that you hard you try to continue to do so.The child (even the smallest) will appreciate your sincerity above all.What happened then it can not be undone.Errors make it.The main conclusions from them and do not do the same thing next time.And - if possible - and to fix what we can.If you give a child a slap on the nerves, it makes no sense to tear his hair.You better think about how to never again allow ourselves to solve problems by force.

2. Do you want to run on the edge of the world - this is normal!

your child is very restless or disobedient, or permanently ill.You knocks out power to somehow rectify the situation.As a result - all getting worse.You would think that a child is crying in spite of you, do not listen or ill.You think you will never be a good mother, although you do not know exactly what it means good mother.You'd fled to the edge of the world, if there was such an opportunity.Understand - this is a normal reaction to a normal person.You are not a robot.You have the right feeling for mental anguish, resentment and guilt.It is not true that a child can not be offended - you can, if you're a human being.And tired of the children is also possible, if you really hard with them.You must be able to accept yourself for who you are.You will immediately become easier, you defuse the tension in itself and can live on without the irritation and pain.Even the most good mothers sometimes feel helpless, tired and frustrated.The main thing that this state is not delayed, and the child did not present an obstacle for you and a burden.This can not be allowed any mother.

3. You are not able to perform miracles.

For example, if you are running from morning until late at night - you are simply not physically able to give the child as much time as a housewife.Accept it and accept it.You are not able to spend half a day with a child on the playground, and the other half reading him books and telling stories.Working mothers always difficult, it is unlikely there to do something to help.The same applies to many other things, such as the wearing of a crying baby in her arms continuously.You - not all-powerful, you are an ordinary woman - and this is your huge plus.Sometimes you just can not do something, although you really want this.We can only accept and better direct efforts that make possible.

4. You have the right to be angry .

Sometimes you feel like a hot pan?The child does not listen to you, do bad things does not help around the house and requires constant attention?That anyone can unbalance even the stone.So - let's be honest - to smile, pretending that everything is fine in this situation is just silly.You have the right to be angry, but try not to let him out of his control.Angry at the child and be open aggression towards him - different things.Do not hold anger in himself, if it overwhelms you.Give your child understand that it makes you sick.It is unpleasant and takes you out of yourself.Explain to your child that he is doing wrong and what to do, so you are not angry at him.Do not pretend pious fairy, if within you the flame of.If you long to keep a negative - it can cause serious depression.That's when you will break a child really.And it will be a shock for him.Mother was always happy - and suddenly ... Do not let this ever.

5. Do you want to take the time to just yourself - please!

Motherhood - it is not a sentence.This does not mean that you have to deny yourself and disappear in a child.This is the biggest mistake you can commit mother.The children still grow up and go to the independent life, and the woman suddenly realizes that his life-something she had not ... Do not let it!You want to hang out with friends?Communicate!Do you want to learn a foreign language?Great!Make time for yourself, improve, learn, get distracted.You will be much more interesting to your child.If you have your hobbies, their interests, their talents and abilities.The child will be proud of his mother, who is able to do something interesting, which is interested in something unusual.Do not forget about yourself - otherwise forget about everything around you too.

6. Do not entertain the baby without stopping.

you fumble with your child all day, forgetting about their needs?You play at his level, not trying to pull it up to her?You will gradually become a favorite toy of the child and not the mother.Games with the baby, of course, useful for its development, but no less useful for him, independent activity.Total fun is an important moment for socialization, but the constant presence beside her mother makes the child a helpless creature, unable to think for themselves.Rather than entertain the child all day - let it rest and relax.The kid can play at this time with someone else (his grandmother, father, nurse), or even himself.When you relax, do household chores and "recharge" your batteries, you will play with him with great enthusiasm and dedication.Do not indulge the child, giving him constant attention.Cool all the time around him, does not mean to be a good - mother always has to know when to stop in their affection and their attention to the child.

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