Very often people want to get married, finding thus replace their mother or father.Baby "I" in man is looking for mother "I" in a woman or a father's "I" in man.Such a man wants his woman took on a role similar to the role of his mother adopted him, cared for him emotionally to breastfeed.Conversely, affected by this complex woman deliberately seeks to protect the man who gave her father.It would seem that the Oedipus complex is not bad, but it greatly impedes normal relations in marriage.
Oedipus complex (or Electra complex) creates three major problems that do not allow men and women to have a harmonious relationship:
1. The desire to preserve the status quo, which was as a child. Speaking of love to the parent of the opposite sex, this meant dependence on the parent, not the pure feeling of love.It occurs at a time when the baby is completely dependent on his parents.Therefore, the expression "love for the parent of the opposite sex" refers to the need for this parent as he used to meet all t
People who were not independent of parental love, that is not got rid of the Oedipus complex (or Electra complex) as adults, there remains a need to extend the same relationship with their parents, as they were in childhood.When a man meets a woman with whom he intends to maintain a loving relationship, it is possible to extract the image of a mother and to project it on a woman, thus obtaining the mother-lover in the flesh.As a result, it will confuse the mother and wife, why begin to treat the beloved as well as attitude to his mother as a child.A man will see it as a source to meet their needs and perfect servant.It will be easy to use and it will never be able to truly love.It is also well suited with regard to women with Electra complex.
The problem becomes more serious if the man was spoiled by a parent, which increased his narcissism and gives confidence in its exclusivity.Narcissism becomes a fantasy of his own omnipotence.Such husband just as he did as a child, will require partners to quickly and fully meet their needs.If the partner does not perform, then it rolls daffodil scandal, insults and threatens to quit.It is unlikely that a person affected by such problems, lodging partner exorbitant demands to reach happiness in marriage.
2. Guilt. Oedipus complex is always a sense of guilt, because on a subconscious level, people understand that there is an incestuous relationship with the parent.It is likely that people will project their own guilt for the partner and will assume that he is not worthy of his love, and it's completely subjective opinion.In most cases, relations between spouses characterized by periods of euphoria and depression, and perhaps unconsciously, they seek to pain and suffering as a way of redemption.
3. inequities. If one of the spouses is affected by the Oedipus complex, this leads to the inequality in the relationship because one partner plays the role of the child, and the other - the parent.But a good attitude in the pair is possible only if the balance of roles of father and mother.That is, the man can take his girlfriend's mother if he can behave like a father.For its part, the woman could refer to a man as a father, if itself can lead, as a mother.In this case, their relationship is not selfish love.
Only the proportion of male and female energy in the amount of 50 to 50 lead to success in love.To achieve this harmony of man and woman, first of all, must be overcome selfishness in order to avoid absorption of the partner, which will inevitably lead to the collapse and disappointment.